Shit Asian Dads Say

Follow up to the stuff Asian moms say. Don't worry Dad, you're certainly NOT like this. But I do know a few Asian dads that are...

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Byron Yee
TEFL English Teacher - Shenzhen, China

Asian Moms Say the Darndest Things

My good friend and fellow ABC (American Born Chinese) sent me this youtube video. It's quotable quotes from the "typical" Asian American mother.

A rule I learned while studying theatre is that every comedy has some very dark truths. This is one of those cases. After being in China for a little while, I've discovered that Chinese moms can also be very similar. So, here's a bit of culture for you guys.

Don't worry mom, I don't think you're ENTIRELY like this ;)

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Byron Yee

TEFL English Teacher - Shenzhen, China

Spring Time

Southern China doesn't quite have the same 4 seasons like many places in the USA. However, we still practice "spring cleaning" here - very intensely, in fact.

Unfortunately, spring time here doesn't quite mean beautiful flowers and occasional sunny days. Spring time really means sporadic and completely unpredictable days of pouring rain, cold spells, and 95% humidity days. This past Monday was quite the chilly one. The entire school shuffled outside reluctantly for our weekly flag raising ceremony. The staff speaker greeted the school by saying “春天好。” Which means "spring greetings." This was followed by cynical murmurs of “可是这天气还是冬天！” (But this weather is still winter!).

Despite the cold weather, our national anthem never sounded better; the chilly temperature gave everyone the shivers, which created quite a beautiful vibrato throughout the song. Hey, lemons from lemonade, right?

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Byron Yee
TEFL English Teacher - Shenzhen, China

More edible Reptiles

I didn't know what I was eating, and rarely do. But when I have the courage to ask, it's usually a pleasant surprise. This time it was turtle. So how was it? Well, it has the fragrance of fish, the color of algea, and a texture somewhere between frog and eel. But I guess you have had to eaten all of the above in order to truly get the reference...

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Byron Yee
TEFL English Teacher - Shenzhen, China

A Walk in the Park

Everyday is a new cultural experience  with all the sites and sounds of living in a factory town. But if you want to learn, observe, and experience all of China's demographic and social life at once, go for a long walk in a public park on a Sunday morning. Why? Let me "walk" you through it...

 - First get warmed up with a little ballroom/salsa partner dancing. Couple even bring their battery powered dvd players and loudspeakers for instruction.
 - Once you're thoroughly warmed up, pop on over next door to the morning techno jazzercise party. Their music is even louder and they draw an even bigger crowd of all ages.
 - Not tired of exercise yet? Bring your badminton set, frisbees, and hackey sacks.
 - Okay, all that exercise has worked up an appetite. Good thing there's fresh cotton candy, candied crab apples, and fried tofu readily available.
 - Take your goodies and enjoy the free music performance. Bring your own instrument and join in if you want.
 - Finally, make a pit stop at the public toilets. The facilities and cleanliness depend on how much money maintenance wants to save. The super frugal managers can save a lot of money by not installing doors on the squat toilets, which makes for a very awkward and surprising show. But hey, at least you don't have to knock first!


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Byron Yee
TEFL English Teacher - Shenzhen, China

China Trip #2

Every year during Spring Festival, better known as "Chinese New Year," the entire country shuts down as everyone goes home to be with family and enjoy 2 weeks of festivities. So I took advantage of the long holiday and my father, aunt, and uncle came out to visit me. It would be impossible for me to recap the entire adventure (although if you have 2.5 hrs and a computer projector, my father would be more that thrilled to tell you the whole story). So here's some quick highlights of the trip where I played (and pretended to be) tour guide, translator, tourist, and occasionally a "native."

- Hiked up an 1800m mountain (Huangshan)
- Drank various local beers
- Convinced other American expats that we were local Chinese and took pictures and drank beer with them
- Ate frog
- Ate eel
- Met some distant relatives living in Hong Kong
- Celebrated the end of Spring Festival in Shanghai
- Learned a few random Cantonese phrases and insults from my Uncle

All of which was done without any terrible hiccups or injuries. And we were under our predicted budget. Being tour guide was exhausting, but a lot of fun. My goal for my Chinese language skills is to get good enough to become a Chinese tour guide for English speaking groups and have someone compliment me by saying "wow, your English is really good!"

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Byron Yee
TEFL English Teacher - Shenzhen, China

A taste of home

I was walking through a new shopping mall in downtown Shenzhen with my family and stumbled upon America's own Coldstone Creamery. The Chinese shops are exactly the same. Same smells, same colors, same sounds, same greetings and scripted lines (just in Chinese), and same fake smiles.

Being in that shop for the 30 seconds I was there brought back all the horrible memories of working there. It was my first high school job, so it will always hold a special place in my heart. But man, I really hated that job...

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Byron Yee
TEFL English Teacher - Shenzhen, China

Darwinism and Pandas

I'm guessing Darwin was a very cynical person when he was doing his research. If he had written a report on pandas, he would have told people that they're wasting their efforts trying to intensively breed an inferior animal.

Don't get me wrong, I think pandas are absolutely cute and cuddly. But being "precious" doesn't count for much on the survival scale or endangered species lists. Pandas can only properly digest about 20% of all the bamboo they consume. So if they appear lazy and love their nap time, it's mainly because they spend what little energy they have digesting their food and then searching for their next meal. Frankly, it's a terribly inefficient cycle, and since bamboo - the majority of their diet - is also in danger of dying out, hopes are't very high.

But that's also why I will never be hired by the Chengdu Breeding Center. Sometimes I question my own thought process...

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Byron Yee
TEFL English Teacher - Shenzhen, China

Adventures in Sichuan

Last week, me and some other buddies spent a few days in the Sichuan province. It would be impossible to explain and describe the entire trip, so here are some highlights. Check out my picasa album for related pics.

Highlights of Sichuan:
 - Visited the world's largest and most famous breeding center for Giant Pandas
 - Ate hundreds of dumplings in honor of the birth place of dumplings: Chengdu
 - Traveled at 194km/hr on a new high speed train
 - Visited over 25 temples
 - Prayed at the feet of the world's largest Buddha (Leshan)
 - Hiked 50km in one day through ice snow
 - On that note, saw and walked through snow for the first time in 3 years

Overall it was a great trip. It was fun to see and experience a completely different part of China, meet other international travelers, a live in actual cold weather again.

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Byron Yee
TEFL English Teacher - Shenzhen, China

A Funny Shoutout

My students are always excitedly shouting, sometimes in English, but usually Chinese. With 3,000 other students, it's their only way to compete for a teacher's attention. However, this most recent shoutout was equally shocking and confusing.

For the Chinese New Year, our school gave each teacher a batch of goodies: a new coffee - or rather, tea cup,        a bottle of olive oil, a 10 kg sack of rice, and an entire box of apples. As I was preparing to travel and therefore was trying to empty my kitchen, I decided NOT to consume all 3 dozen apples myself and gave most of them away to my students.

The next day a girl shouted at me across the school grounds "Mr. Yee, your apple is delicious!!!" At first I thought she was making some sort of new sexual innuendo I wasn't yet familiar with. But no, I have to remember that when teaching students a foreign language, you have to listen and interpret things very, very literally.  She was simply just very hungry and very grateful for the snack. And I was simply just being my perverted self...

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Byron Yee
TEFL English Teacher - Shenzhen, China